When you see something that makes you have that “gut feeling,” it’s so important that you dig a little deeper and not ignore what you’re noticing, as you're doing. I'm so glad you've reached out to us for more information and guidance. Questioning a close adult’s behaviors is not easy, but is a vital step to preventing abuse. I’m sorry to hear that you’re having concerns about the sexual safety of your eldest daughter around your boyfriend. She just says that nothing ever happened. I asked her as well and she gets annoyed (typical teenager) and doesn't say much. I have confronted him and he denies ever doing anything to her. He doesn't tell me anything and I feel there's so much to him that I don't know. If it came down to it, he will never admit anything to me. I asked him if he was a pedophile and he denied it. He spoke about how young girls are easier to control and that "they will do anything." This was concerning and I confronted him about it. But when I asked him where he was, his answer didn’t make sense - he said he was in the bedroom the whole time and I thought this was a red flag.Īlso, he has talked about how he wanted to be with a "young girl" and that I was too old. I looked around the house, including in my daughter’s room, and didn't see him anywhere.
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Another day, early in the morning I got out of the shower because I forgot something and when I came into my bedroom, he was not there. Shortly after this incident, I walked into her room and caught her masturbating, although she denied it.
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He defended it and said that it took really long to get the food but I do not believe it. They were gone for over an hour and when I called him several times he did not answer his phone and the restaurant is 2 miles from my house. I didn't think anything of it and said yes. One time he was leaving to pick up some fast food and she wanted to go with him. For example, she'll imply that I'm fat and he'll imply that I'm ugly or something like that. Their jokes are often at my expense and sometimes I feel attacked by them. She and him play around and joke a lot together. When I asked him why, he said it was because he wanted to avoid any arguing with her as she was very disrespectful and is easily angered. For the most part when he would come to visit (we have never lived together), he would completely ignore her presence and acted like she didn't exist. It has changed, but previously both her and my boyfriend hated each other. She has always been a handful, but now that she is more mature, her behavior and attitude towards me is pretty bad and she acts like she hates me and is upset with me for something but won’t talk about it. I am pregnant with our 2nd child and I have 3 children from a previous relationship. Finally, take the responsibility by law or laws of moral justice.My boyfriend and I have been together on and off for almost 8 years.
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Be honest with her and together come up with how to deal with the scenario. Get her in her best moods, when it is the two of you, preferably, away from home. Let your wife get the information from you before someone else gives her the 'abridged' version. One of the best ways of dealing with adversity is to stay ahead of the information.
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You should encourage and support her to keep that pregnancy and make sure the child is raised responsibly. A responsible man takes responsibility for his actions and that pregnancy is your responsibility. How do you go terming her as irresponsible? It is interesting how you realise this only now after sleeping with her severally. But first wait for the birth of the child then you can do a DNA test to confirm paternity then if it turns out positive you can do what will be required of you. You better inform your wife and your parents of this pregnant lady and be ready to support her and her baby because it has happened after your prolonged relationship. People already know of the story so in case she procures abortion and she dies or something happens you shall be the first culprit. I would not encourage you to ask anyone to terminate a pregnancy.